There are times,
when I look for light
and find only a lighter shade of darkness,
then to save myself
I look away
in another direction
with the same profound hope
to find the light in the next moment
Time though seems to have frozen
the clocks tick,
but time doesn’t move for me
I am the same person I was many years ago
I wish I change
I wish I become somebody else
I don’t like what I am,
for I have been me for far too long.
same face, same skin,
same self preserving spirit
same selfish instincts,
I look at the advertisements in the TV -
the promises of the world and the happy people
their faces don’t resemble mine
they make me feel small at first
then I feel ashamed
I am pushed back into my shell
I’m afraid,
then the fear turns to hate,
even my distractions remind me of
the same wound
of the un-belonging.
How long? How far the road stretches?
someone called and said -
‘Enjoy -Life is short’
Short?
most of the times it feels -
it’s not short enough.