Ignorance

Photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash

There are times,

when I look for light

and find only a lighter shade of darkness,

then to save myself

I look away

in another direction

with the same profound hope

to find the light in the next moment

Time though seems to have frozen

the clocks tick,

but time doesn’t move for me

I am the same person I was many years ago

I wish I change

I wish I become somebody else

I don’t like what I am,

for I have been me for far too long.

same face, same skin,

same self preserving spirit

same selfish instincts,

I look at the advertisements in the TV -

the promises of the world and the happy people

their faces don’t resemble mine

they make me feel small at first

then I feel ashamed

I am pushed back into my shell

I’m afraid,

then the fear turns to hate,

even my distractions remind me of

the same wound

of the un-belonging.

How long? How far the road stretches?

someone called and said -

‘Enjoy -Life is short’

Short?

most of the times it feels -

it’s not short enough.