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Turn Off Your Brain. It is Not Helping.
I wake up and instantly my brain turns into a high gear of activity as though it was just waiting for me to wake up to pounce. A closer look has allowed me to shine a light at its behavior. It tries to attack the seemingly unsolvable conundrums and existential anxieties which beset it, and in defeat it gets depressed. Then it stays depressed, finds the manic energy and then tries again, fails, the circle repeats.
I have started listening to Osho again because he addresses the subjects of desires, loneliness, and personal fulfilment at great length in his discourses. At one place he says:
“What are you without your problems? Nothing really.”
Osho has made an acute observation. Are our problems the center of our existence? And have we consciously designed them and assigned them that place of gravity? Do I consciously concoct problems to stay in some sort of mental struggle, as a way for me to have something to wrestle with? What would I be if I were empty? What would I do if I had no more riddles to solve and no more walls to climb? These are interesting questions to consider because I am tired of my brain running circles around me.
I realize that, time and again, I have invented these pointless problems (read aspirations) for myself and infused in them so much meaning and value that my brain is now centered to the extent of obsession with them. It is a life or death question for it - a primal issue of survival. In essence, these problems are nothing more than my personal fiction. FICTION.
I have decided to turn off this feverish activity of searching for solutions. It is alright where I am right now. So I tell myself (my brain) - Stop, there is nothing to do. Be free. Just be. And you are complete.